Caring for Aging Parents: Are You Willing?

Middle-aged children of aging parents are facing some agonizing choices.

The 60 something generation of Americans are ready to retire, they've raised children, many have helped raise grandchildren and now they are faced with becoming a caregiver for their parents and this role (job) could last 10 or 20 years.

Is it selfish to wonder when will the role of provider caregiver end? This article may help answer this question and will offer a few suggestions on making some very hard choices.

People are living much longer.

Adult children have always cared for their parents, or placed them in Nursing Homes, but things have changed.

People are living much longer than ever before so there is a new problem.

A nursing home could be a long sentence, though there are some very nice facilities it is still a warehouse for the aged.

No one wants to be institutionlized, but sometimes there is no choice.

There are situations when there is no other choice, such as the person needs 24 hour long-term care and you are unable to do it inside the home. You really have no choice. There is no right or wrong and there should be no guilt, just the sad reality that Mom or Dad have to be cared for by someone else; but one needs to ask: "am I making this decision to relieve the burden of looking after them or is it truly the only answer?"

Financial considerations for long-term care, is there a choice?

Long-term care is expensive no matter what you choose. Nursing home costs will impoverish your parent, medicare does not cover long-term care, but caring for your parent in your home will put a financial strain on your resources.

A senior care facility charges between $150 per day and $300 per day, this amounts to $54,000 to $108,000 per year. The annual cost of in-home care by a professional agency averages about $20,000 per year for 20 hours of care per week. Full time live-in care is about $70,000 per year.

What to do if you have no money. There is welfare for seniors if all they have is a monthly Social Security Check and no more than $2,000 in assets. The Medicaid program will pay for nursing home costs if the person meets the requirements.

You may have come to this decision because you feel it is the right thing to do or because of financial considerations, but you still need to count the costs not only financial costs but the toll this choice will make in your life.

If you are already taking care of your parent or parents in your home you may be experiencing a lot of stress. A recent survey by the AARP says the number of 50-plus adult children taking care of parents has tripled in last 15 years and will continue to increase as the population ages.

Another AARP study claims in 2009 there were 42 million family caregivers in the U.S. caring for and adult with health issues and limitations.

If you are caring for a parent in your home you might feel a lot of stress. Try the stress test in this article to see how you are coping.